I had just met my new friend and after just a couple of days he told me that he had a “problem with God.”
He knew I was a minister. I asked about the problem, and he expounded that a young baby brother had died suddenly at age two. Another died young from a sudden heart attack and a third had died from AIDS.
The third brother had been adopted. He had tears in his eyes and the pain was palpable. He then asked me “Why did God let all that happen?”.
That was the opening question, and we spent hours after that discussing God, pain, sorrow, loss, a broken world, and a host of issues that flowed out of his pain and loss.
Our discussion continues as we work to integrate God’s Word into real life. My new friend is eighty-two years old.
Yet another example of how people—adults and children alike—need the opportunity to discuss real life and how to integrate biblical principles into that life.
Jesus was masterful in developing these kinds of discussions, often with Peter as in John 13. Let me read.
“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”” (John 13 NIV)
In this passage, we can identify two qualities that were so characteristic of the discussions that Jesus facilitates.
We have talked about these in earlier podcasts, but they are worth reviewing.
Freedom to Question
The passage begins with what would have been unthinkable. Jesus appears to be preparing to wash the feet of His disciples.
This was an unexpected act of servant leadership that would have set the disciples back on their heels. A leader like Jesus did not wash His followers’ feet. This was embarrassing to the disciples who all react in silence, except Peter who questions Jesus’ action by asking a question (vs. 6).
We can pause there and note that Jesus had created an environment where questions were allowed.
And not just the questions that are seeking insight, understanding, or information, but also the question that is actually an expression of disagreement.
Peter’s question was leading to his statement that Jesus “shall never wash my feet” (vs. 8). It was a form of disagreement and Peter felt at ease in expressing his opposition.
It is difficult to express in a few words how crucial this is to a transformational children’s ministry. Children’s ministry leaders who are interested in a life-changing ministry must create an environment where children can be free to question.
Anyone who has worked with children knows that they want to please adults, get the right answer, and say the right things. So often the “discussion” that follows the teaching of God’s Word is a recitation of Bible story facts and a series of right/wrong answer questions.
Jesus' ministry with Peter reminds us of the need to create an environment where freedom to question is natural.
Four years ago, I led a small team of four ministry leaders to Uganda. We were hosted by David Agoso, the East Africa Director for Every Generation Ministries. We were doing some field research to launch a new ministry in Kenya, and we had to get an Uber ride to a church for a visit.
Unfortunately, when the driver arrived, he was in a car with five seats including the driver. We had six adults including the driver. It was a hatchback with some room in the back for someone to lay down. Being 5’6” tall (on a good posture day), it was clear that I needed to lay in the back. The other four members of our team were taller and larger than me and the choice seemed obvious.
When I declared my intentions, David Agoso was shocked and made it clear that the president of the organization was not going to lay in the back of the car while he sat in the front……no way! It was a “Peteresque” moment! After a few minutes of “discussion”, David gave in and I rode in the back, lying down. David was not happy.
When we had to return from the church in the same manner, he was really not happy! At least he was free to express his opposition and we did “discuss” the matter.
The second quality of the discussion is equally important.
Guided Discussion
When Peter questions Jesus’ action (vs. 6), Jesus does not confront Peter or rebuke him for his impetuousness.
Instead, Jesus answers and makes it clear that His intentions are to wash Peter’s feet (vs.7). He advises Peter that he will understand the meaning later (vs. 7). This leads Peter to state without hesitation that Jesus will not be washing his feet (vs. 8).
Jesus then guides the discussion helping Peter realize the spiritual significance of the washing and the importance of His followers participating (vs. 8). Peter realizes his error and in typical fashion declares his desire to be washed—feet, hands, and head (vs. 9).
Jesus guides the conversation towards the integration of truth and real life. Commentators have noted the spiritual significance of Jesus' actions immediately prior to His atoning death that would provide for the forgiveness of sins, an act of spiritual cleansing.
They also note the moral teaching that Christ, our example, was the Servant of all. His actions were a call to the disciples to follow in sacrificial, servant leadership. He leads the discussion to help Peter integrate those truths into his own life.
This is yet another crucial quality of discussion in a life-changing children’s ministry. The children’s ministry leader facilitates and guides the children toward integrating God’s Word into their own life situations.
The discussion addresses the challenges, difficulties, joy, and rewards that come with living out God’s Word. The leader does not let the discussion wander haphazardly, nor do they let the discussion devolve into right answer/wrong answer simplicity.
The children’s ministry leader always has the Bible teaching in mind as the discussion guide and also can sense the Holy Spirit leading the process forward.
Guiding children to “talk about” (Deuteronomy 6:7) the Word of God and real life is a key to life-changing children’s ministry. We have taught about this passage in early podcasts.
Closing Thoughts
Integrating God’s Word into real life is a challenge and the discussion element is the on-ramp for that process.
However, it is not surprising that integrating the discussion principle into your ministry can be challenging.
Last Spring, we had a great Mother’s Day lesson on honoring your father and mother in the LORD (Exodus 20:12). The discussion was awesome as many of the children were engaged in how we can honor our mothers.
However, at the end of the table in my little group were two children whose mom had just had a miscarriage. She was a struggling single mom, and I could tell the kids were actually saddened by our lesson theme.
I tried to get them to share with the group but failed. They were in my class this last Sunday and are slowly becoming more communicative and God is at work in their lives!
This coming weekend, remember to include thoughtful discussion into your ministry and see how God will use that to transform the lives of children in your church.