I love to cook and consider myself a “hack” chef.
Whenever, people discover that fact they are surprised. I have to remind them that most of the famous chefs of the world are men.
In our stereotyping world, this breaks with the typical macho man role held by some. I have found this to be the case with the Apostle Paul and relational ministry.
We tend to think of the Apostle as a thinker, theologian, writer and intellectual giant and that he was.
However, as a result we tend to neglect the pastoral, maternal and relational aspect of his ministry evident throughout his writings, but no where more clearly than in I Thessalonians.
We were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8)
Did you notice the maternal image used by Paul? He compared his relationship with the Thessalonians to a nursing mother’s relationship with her baby.
Apparently, Paul had been accused of being authoritarian and even harsh, and here he reminded the Thessalonians that this was not so.
He was like a mother with children who had not been weaned. Commenting on this passage, John Stott put it his way:
Far from using them to minister to himself, he gave himself to minister to them. It is a lovely thing that a man as tough and masculine as the Apostle Paul should have used this feminine metaphor. Some Christian leaders become both self-centered and autocratic. The more their authority is challenged, the more they exert it. We all need to cultivate more, in our pastoral ministry, of the gentleness, love and self-sacrifice of a mother.
Paul’s practice of relational ministry had much in common with motherhood.
To be specific, in his ministry among the Thessalonians, he was nurturing, affectionate, caring, and compassionate… like a mother with her children.
Paul reminded the Thessalonians of his love for them. He pointed out that he had not merely shared the gospel with them, but that he was sharing their life as well.
Apparently for Paul, sharing the message of salvation in Christ—teaching about membership in God’s family, the forgiveness of sins, and the kingdom life that believers experience—was not enough. Paul also shared his own life with them.
Ministry was not just a transaction of ideas: Paul did not communicate the gospel truth in hopes of receiving an intellectual response.
Paul delighted in explaining the good news regarding Jesus Christ, and he was gifted in clearly communicating truth and doctrine. Yet Paul also delighted in giving his life in relationship with fellow believers.
Paul committed himself totally to the Thessalonians rather than remaining aloof and uninvolved in their struggles to come to terms with the new faith that had been declared to them.
Preaching the gospel without building a relationship or building a relationship without preaching the gospel—neither option is complete.
An approach to ministry that genuinely values relationship is sorely needed in the children’s ministry world which has tended towards entertaining the children, memorizing Bible verses or or communicating the message of salvation at every turn.
While these are all important, relationships are crucial for transformational children’s ministry. We should delight whenever a child joins the family of God, has fun at church or memorizes God’s Word.
We are reminded by Paul that we should also delight in giving ourselves to those children. In the weeks ahead we will talk about how we can build loving relationships with boys and girls.