Not only was I a wayward child, I grew up and had wayward children.
As a young man, I often heard my parents and their friends speak about Proverbs 22:6. It was taken as a kind of promise given by God to Christian parents.
The idea was that if you raised a child as a Christian and taught them the Bible, memorized Bible verses, sang hymns and worship songs, recited the LORD’s prayer, and attended church, then if that child strayed from God they would return someday.
Simply stated, if you “train up a child,” they may wander, but they will not “depart from it.” After all, that’s what the Proverb says:
Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6 NAS)
This straightforward interpretation has comforted many a parent. It has also been a foundational element of traditional teaching approaches that emphasize memorization, Bible content and cognitive understanding of Bible material.
But does Proverbs 22:6 offer this kind of promise?
It Will Come Back Someday
Proverbs 22:6 has certainly been the lifeline for the parents of children who have started from the faith. The late BIOLA Professor James Mohler put it this way:
Proverbs 22:6 is an easy verse from which to find hope that our children will turn out “OK” if we train them well. It’s often misquoted as a command with a promise: “If we train our kids correctly in the Lord, then, when they are older, we can be confident that they will walk with the Lord, no matter what happens in the volatile teenage or young adult years." The verse has been used by some to heap guilt upon parents whose adult children are not walking with Christ, suggesting that the parents did not work hard enough to “train up” their children. It also has been used by well-meaning folk to provide hope that ungodly children will return to a godly lifestyle at some point in their lives. However, both of these usages are incorrect and can cause great discouragement. The passage does, in fact, express hope, but no promise. (Source)
Too many people understand Proverbs 22:6 as meaning, we can raise our children to be a Christians and even if they stray, they will eventually come back someday—but that is not the message of this proverb.
Still, many people believe that we can take our children to church—where they memorize Scripture, sing worship songs, and hear Bible stories—and that even though those Sunday mornings may not make any apparent difference, the life-changing truth that they heard and sang will impact them later in life.
Or they may wander away, but spiritual seed has been sown, and it will bear fruit at some point, possibly many years into the future. Although this scenario may play out sometimes, it is not the real heart of Proverbs 22:6.
A Closer Look
So, what does Proverbs 22:6 really teach us? To get us started, here are two translations:
Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)
Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NASB)
The Hebrew word translated start (NIV) or train (NASB) is used only this one time in the entire Old Testament. It is defined as “to train or dedicate” with the object of that training being a child. (Forms of the word are used in conversations about dedicating buildings [Deuteronomy 5:2, 1 Kings 8:63, and 2 Chronicles 7:5].)
Since Proverbs is wisdom literature, we may readily think of training the child in godly wisdom—and wisdom is different from intellect, cognitive capacity, or any kind of intelligence quotient. The context does not lend itself to the understanding that it is referring to “training” or “starting” in terms of Jewish faith.
The original reader would not have understood this as a spiritual promise of ultimate salvation or an eventual return to the faith. It was about providing a “start” or training” in godly wisdom. Wisdom in the Hebrew world is not synonymous with knowledge. People who have immense knowledge are not necessarily wise individuals.
In 1944, a man driving near the Princeton University campus saw a “bodiless head—just two arms outstretched and a familiar mop of shaggy white hair.” He jumped from the car and helped the elderly man out of the manhole.
Bruised and disheveled, speaking a mix of German and English, the manhole’s captive was none other than Albert Einstein. While he was walking home, he had absentmindedly stumbled into an open manhole. Again, being a genius does not make you wise.
Scholars have authored books about wisdom in the Old Testament. The New Bible Dictionary offers us this simple starting point:
Like all Hebrew intellectual virtues, wisdom is intensely practical, not theoretical. Basically, wisdom is the art of being successful, of forming the correct plan to gain the desired results. Its seat is the heart, the center of moral and intellectual decision.... Wisdom takes insights gleaned from the knowledge of God’s ways and applies them in the daily walk. (Marshall, et al., 1244)
This clear definition helps us better understand the Proverbs 22:6 teaching that we need to train our children to live wisely as defined by God. Therefore, if anyone wants to live wisely, we need biblical truth.
However, that is a starting point. When we’re instructing children about living wisely, we also need to help them apply and integrate biblical truth into their daily life. Stopping at knowledge fills the mind of the child with biblical un applied and inexperienced truth.
This in turn can lead to the jaded children that are present in churches all around the world. Unintentionally, we can create in them a view that God’s Word is unrelated to their real life.
When a child experiences the impact that God’s Word has in their everyday living, they are not likely to depart from it. The ”training” of children then means helping them understand and integrate the Word of God into the everyday living.
The Word of God is not something to be simply remembered for future use; the Word of God teaches us to live the way God wants us to live—starting today.
Therefore, we understand Proverbs 22:6 as a high calling to teach the Word of God to boys and girls in a manner that helps them develop a life of wise godly living.
This of course is entirely consistent with Deuteronomy 6:4-9, which we have examined in detail (see our website for more). It is also consistent with Jesus’ ministry among His disciples. When the word of God is integrated into the daily life of a child, they will not depart from that wisdom.
This weekend in your children’s ministry focus an equal amount of time, energy, and effort on helping children understand God’s Word, discuss that Word’s relationship to their real life and then create an activity(s) that will help the Respond and keep Responding.
This is the God-given road map for transformational children’s ministry.